I think I'm just lying to myself. I'm not sure yet. But if so, that has to be it.

It is all grey.
The beauty
The love
all the little things that made It what It was.
they exist, but It wasn't.
It never was what we thought.
It was, and is, just it.
one IT and one it
one black. one white.
It is all grey.

it would have read "absolute beauty"

now it is just a burning scar.

Just an illusion!

Myself. Thats the answer. I go with myself. Wherever and whenever, I know I can count on myself. As long as I trust myself I know I can get myself through. Besides, I'm a good choice for the task of building on a broken foundation.

I was happy. But I had her.
I was happy. But I was away home or working.
I'm not happy at all.
I'm here.

Maybe I should go away for good.
Maybe this is no longer what is best for me.
So what to do? Where to go?

and with who?